Mrs Miller has cats. Mrs Miller's neighbours - Mr and Mrs Namless Professional Couple - have a fish pond in their front garden. Mr Nameless keeps the pond covered with netting to stop Mrs Miller's menagere of cats from helping themselves to his prized koi carp.

Last night, it seems that Mr Nameless didn't fix his netting back down properly after he'd finished doing whatever it is men do with fish in a small pond. This morning, one of Mrs Miller's cats - the fat tabby one - managed to collapse the netting and fell in. This we know by the torn netting and weed all over the lawn as said cat tried to escape.

Mrs Miller's cat managed to disentangle itself from the netting and flees the scene of the crime, straight back across the road to home. Unfortunately, Milkman (yes, we still have one around here!) choses this same moment to come toodling around the corner in his Milkvan. Neither Cat nor Milkman see one another until it's too late, and Milkvan goes straight over Cat.

But it gets worse.

Mrs Miller, who is a light sleeper, was somehow awoken but the noise and chaos of Cat falling into the pond, and shuffles outside moments after Milkman has flattened Cat.

I imagine that was quite an awkward moment.

The next vehicle that turned up, which was the one that woke me up, was the Ambulance pulling into our road to pick up Mrs Miller who had promptly collapsed in shock on the pavement having seen the messy demise of Cat.

All before breakfast.

And all the time, Mr Toad's at his window, gleefully watching his plan for domination unfold.

*

In other news... well done you, and you.

H x