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  • Since U Been Gone

    by holliegrail @ 21.07.2008 – 09:22:05

    I've been away for a while, hence no entries for the last week or so.

    I was pleasantly surprised a few weekends ago when I actually managed to meet somebody nice in Cambridge. I know, miracles will never cease! Although, as he not actually from Cambridge originally, I'm not sure if it counts... But whatever, it made a nice change to meet someone around here who isn't some kind of uber-intellectual with the social skills of a fork. So, I met him at this coffee shop in town (ah, Starbucks, is there nothing you can't do?) and we've been getting to know each other.

    But then my dad's job decides that he needs to go on a trip abroad to somewhere very tropical to sort out something or other, and I got whisked away for a week to a. Now, this isn't the kind of thing that I would normally moan about (and that makes it sound like it happens to me all the time, which it doesn't!) but, I mean - timing!!! So I've spent the last week sitting on a beach and being spoiled by some lovely waiters, which was nice, but kinda frustrating when you want to be at home seeing if this new guy you met's any good for you!

    Anyway, when I got back to the lovely UK - and had to wrap myself up in a jumper! - it was a real shame to find out that nothing happened while I was away, apart from Gordon Brown telling people that they definately must eat their crusts and finish their greens. Which I have no problem with - waste sucks - but, come on! Is this the best he can do?!?

    So I thought this story was more interesting. Apparently, a man in India took his wife to court and got a divorce. Except it wasn't his wife, it was a lookalike. His real wife wasn't too pleased when she found out, but I thought he gets full marks for innovation.

    H x

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  • Daily grind

    by holliegrail @ 10.07.2008 – 13:56:37

    Staying in bed 'til late, wrapped up in fresh, crisp bed-clothes that smell like spring; then rolling out from under the covers into the warm sunlight coming through the window; enjoying a fresh breakfast, soaking in a luxuriously bubbly bath; reading in the sun 'til noon and then strolling along the river to a delicious al fresco lunch at a superb (and not particularly cheap!) cafe and watching the dragon and damselflies dancing across the water and chasing each other through the sunbeams.

    Yes, life is that hard at the moment :)

    H x

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  • Congratulations, you is a winning!

    by holliegrail @ 08.07.2008 – 08:25:34

    banner

    What, again? I've been selected to win an Audi every day for the last week! How lucky can a girl be? And where am I going to put them all?

    More believably, I also got an invitation to join the crew of the Black Pearl. Which is nice. I'm hoping it's the post-curse crew, and I won't have to turn into a skeleton every evening. Or is it a shrimp? Or was that the other film?

    Anyway, check them out.

    H x

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  • The rain in Cambridge falls mainly on me

    by holliegrail @ 07.07.2008 – 18:10:50

    Ok. I give in. British Weather, you win.

    A few days ago I was wandering around in a delicate shade of lobster pink and unable to wear anything heavier than the lightest of light cotton things without crying. But now it feels like I should be putting a pair of flippers and a snorkel out with my underwear every night before I go to bed (I'm not actually that organised, it's artistic license to make the point!)

    Today's flipped between sun and rain so often and so quickly. This afternoon was fairly sunny, so I figured I'd grab the chance to go for a little run - only half-an-hour or so, I thought. Of course, at the halfway point the switch was flipped and the skies opened. So I got home looking like a runner up from the Miss Cambridge Wet T-Shirt Competition 2008 and having to walk down the road under the lecherous gaze of Mr Toad...

    Can't win. Still, nothing can be more British than having a good moan about the weather, what?

    H x

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  • A series of unfortunate events

    by holliegrail @ 07.07.2008 – 10:25:10

    Mrs Miller has cats. Mrs Miller's neighbours - Mr and Mrs Namless Professional Couple - have a fish pond in their front garden. Mr Nameless keeps the pond covered with netting to stop Mrs Miller's menagere of cats from helping themselves to his prized koi carp.

    Last night, it seems that Mr Nameless didn't fix his netting back down properly after he'd finished doing whatever it is men do with fish in a small pond. This morning, one of Mrs Miller's cats - the fat tabby one - managed to collapse the netting and fell in. This we know by the torn netting and weed all over the lawn as said cat tried to escape.

    Mrs Miller's cat managed to disentangle itself from the netting and flees the scene of the crime, straight back across the road to home. Unfortunately, Milkman (yes, we still have one around here!) choses this same moment to come toodling around the corner in his Milkvan. Neither Cat nor Milkman see one another until it's too late, and Milkvan goes straight over Cat.

    But it gets worse.

    Mrs Miller, who is a light sleeper, was somehow awoken but the noise and chaos of Cat falling into the pond, and shuffles outside moments after Milkman has flattened Cat.

    I imagine that was quite an awkward moment.

    The next vehicle that turned up, which was the one that woke me up, was the Ambulance pulling into our road to pick up Mrs Miller who had promptly collapsed in shock on the pavement having seen the messy demise of Cat.

    All before breakfast.

    And all the time, Mr Toad's at his window, gleefully watching his plan for domination unfold.

    *

    In other news... well done you, and you.

    H x

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  • Have bus ticket, will travel

    by holliegrail @ 04.07.2008 – 16:45:50

    I've been quite busy these last couple of days, which makes a change!

    I've met a new neighbour, Mrs Miller. Just like Mr Toad, she's a little on the old side, but she's very nice (unlike Mr Toad). She lives on her own with her three - four? - cats, and someone comes over to look in on her every day. We had a good long chat in her front garden, and she told me all about the history of the local area (a good deal of which I'd imagine has been vastly exageratted in the retelling). She seemed nice enough, even though she did keep calling me Lucy and tried to give me a pound (for sweeties) before I left.

    Today I made my way out as far north as Ely. I know, I'm a right little adventurer! Although actually trying to get to Ely by bus is enough to make Scott of the Antartic balk.

    Ely's a funny little place. It looked all quaint and country-village like in the sunshine, but it's also full of lads roaring around in their souped-up cars and bikes and whistling and leering at you as you walk past groups of them outside Woolworths.

    There's also lots of shops there that you can't find in Cambridge; stuff like Woolworths, Wilkinson and pound shops alongside Waitrose. Someone told me that they weren't allowed to build a Woolworths in Cambridge itself because it's not a posh enough shop. Which I find odd, seeing as it has a McDonalds.

    I also noticed a load of people walking around with tattoos; which is great because I love looking at tattoos. I saw some lovely full-colour sleeves, and a girl queuing in front of me had a beautiful delicate one down the back of her neck - although it was the most beautiful and delicate thing about her - but I also saw some people walking around with really grotty looking ones; splodges of random blue all over the arms which look like they're either home-done or a skin disease. Still, I've got two more years to think about mine :)

    Sorry that this post has been a kind of random thought-dump because I'm a bit pressed for time. But on another note, and for an excuse to use 'sex' as a tag again, apparently there's been some suggestions to start sex education at 4 years-old now. Obviously, they've never met some of the girls I went to school with, or they'd realise that they'd still be starting it four years too late, but still. I think that's a bit extreme. After all, they only need to show people that episode of the 21st Century Girl's Guide to Sex I watched the other day, and they'll be celibate for life...

    H x

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  • Ouch

    by holliegrail @ 02.07.2008 – 14:25:37

    A wise old woman (sorry, mum) once said to me; "never fall asleep in the sun."

    If I'd had taken more notice of her, I might not have dozed off in the garden yesterday, and I might not be nursing very sore red shoulders and back today.

    Ow. Does anyone have any more aftersun!?!

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  • Mr Toad

    by holliegrail @ 01.07.2008 – 10:18:31

    I'm tired... I didn't get off to sleep until about 2 o'clock this morning. Just couldn't really sleep, plus I was quite hot too and that didn't help.

    I'm pretty sure that there was someone in my back garden last night - I could hear lots of shuffling and moving around but everytime I went to the window, I couldn't see anything. The security light came on a couple of times as well. It sounded like something being dragged around, but I don't know what... So, yeah. There was no way I was going to lie there with the windows open, second floor or not, so I had to shut them, and that didn't help. Creepy.

    Talking of creepy, I just went out to post a letter and bumped into one of my neighbours on the way back. The way our road is laid out, we don't really have next-door neighbours, but I guess he's the closest to it. I've seen him wandering about a couple of times before; a tubby walnut of an elderly guy with a little cap and a big old coat. He reminds me of Mr Toad off Wind in the Willows. He's normally dragging some equally elderly tiny dog along with him. I say dragging because I've never actually seen it move - to be honest, I think it's been dead a while.

    Anyway, he was pulling some great big bags out of the boot of his car (which I've never seen him drive) and I thought I'd be all nice and neighbourly and say 'hello'. All he did was look me up and down with that kind of 'I disapprove of the length of your skirt' look and turn around and shuffle inside. And I thought people in the countryside were supposed to be more friendly. Yeah. That's the last time I'm being nice. Next time I see him shuffling across the road, I'll run him over. Or I'll ask my dad to, anyway. I'll get you, you and your little dog too!

    I wouldn't be surprised if it'd been him shuffling around in the garden last night, whispering to his little dead dog, 'look, precious, nasty new people in their big housey, come to take precious away. Won't let that happen, will we precious? Stab them in the ears during the night we will.'

    Today, I plan to sunbathe with a shot gun.

    H x

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  • Sex, Drugs and Cryptosporidium*

    by holliegrail @ 30.06.2008 – 08:58:24

    What a pleasant weekend! The sun was out (for most of it) and it was quite warm too (for most of it). I got to put our new garden to the test topping up my tan. It's nice that it's not overlooked here, so you can lie back, close your eyes and listen to some music without worrying about who's going to be leering at you over the fence when you open your eyes :)

    Now we just need a pool...

    Apparently Anglia Water have been having a little bit of a problem with a Cryptosporidium outbreak. I thought Cryptosporidium was an obnoxious grey alien with a pathological hatred of humans, but apparently not. Cryptosporidium is, in fact, a nasty little bug which causes massive attacks of... well, let's just say you won't be getting too far away from the bathroom.

    Does Anglia water supply Cambridge too? I guess it does. Perhaps that would explain why my glass of water always looks like this in the morning.

    water

    On Sunday my parents went to some boring social function to do with dad's work, so I had the house all to myself. I don't do junk food very often, but I thought I'd treat myself to curling up on the sofa with a pizza and a movie, but - none of the pizza companies deliver out as far as Stupid Outlying Villageton! "You can come collect," they suggested. How am I supposed to do that? I'm not even old enough to have a driving licence! Steal a car? "You could get a boyfried to drive you", was her next idea. Fine, I'll whore myself out to someone with a car just to go get a pizza. Is that what you're trying to do to me? Drive me into prostitution with the lure of your delicious dough-based treats? Shame on you, pizza-company-who-will-remain-nameless-but-sounds-a-lot-like-the-game-played-by-old-people-in-pubs-using-black-and-white-spotted-tiles.

    There's no moral standards anymore.

    Talking of morals, I couldn't believe what I came across, as it were, on channel 5 while I was flicking around the channels at about 11pm, waiting for everyone to come home.

    The Girl's Guide to 21st Century Sex is supposed to be one of these kind of trendy informative documentaries, but (and I'm not some kind of Victorian prude here) I've never seen anything so explicit on mainstream TV before. I think because they call it "educational" you can get away with stuff you normally need some kind of licence for...

    They had - dude, I have no idea how to describe this! ... shots from inside ... showing what goes on (how they got a camera up there I'll never know) and a guy with a camera strapped to his bits as well, so you get to see the whole act from both sides in some of the most terrifiying close-ups I've ever seen since those sex-ed videos they showed us at school that made most of us sleep with the lights on at night, rocking back and forward in a corner and muttering "Ineverwantaboyfriend, Ineverwantaboyfriend".

    Plus, there was a delightful section about pubic crabs and about a 70-year-old guy who finds his relationship with a blow-up doll more fulfilling than one with a real woman.

    I'm sure I saw a convent somewhere around here the other day. Do you have any application forms? I think I'd like to join now...

    H x

    *Ok, so no drugs.

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  • G-Strings and Dictionaries

    by holliegrail @ 27.06.2008 – 14:10:56

    The layout of this blog's a little on the sucky-dull side. I might see if I can do something about that later.

    I took my first trip into Cambridge centre this morning, to buy a new pack of guitar strings. I managed to break the g-string while I was tuning, and didn't have any spares. For some reason, it's always my g-strings that go first! :) Fortunately, it was on the electric one, when the acoustic one goes it's potentially fatal to any man or beast in the immediate area.

    I found a nice little music shop in the centre of town, in the older part. I got my new strings, but they do have a lovely range of guitars in there, and mine *is* getting on a bit now. I think I might have to bring my dad down here and remind him who dragged us all up here in the first place, and how gifts make such a good substitue for fatherly love.

    Anyhow, I spent a few hours in town, looking round, bought some clothes blah, blah, blah... and then got the bus home.

    Now perhaps I've been spoilt living in London, but how do I end up waiting over half-an-hour for a bus that comes every 20 minutes?!? I could have walked home quicker.

    I used to use public transport a lot in London, so this isn't Snotty-Kid's-First-Day-Out-on-Public-Transport-Syndrome, but this trip? Unpleasant. This guy got on at the next stop and sat a couple of seats behind me. And then spent the rest of the journey coughing away with his mouth open and snorting up large blobs of phlegm. When I asked him if, perhaps, he'd consider covering his mouth so before the rest of us got quarantined too, he just stared at me. Dude did not look well, which is fine, but it would be nice if he'd keep his germs to himself. So, Mr. Bus-Snot-Snorter; if you're reading this - I hope you're feeling better but get some tissues!!!

    On a completely unrelated note, I found this article on Wikipedia called 10 things you may not know about Wikipedia. I thought it was quite amusing that it was tagged with 'the factual accuracy of this article is disputed', so it seems that it's ten things about Wikipedia that not even they know.

    When you read the comments page, though (as I did because I have no life) some of them actually get quite nasty. I had no idea that people took their encyclopaedia that seriously. One poster is accusing Wikipedia of dumming down the English language. He moans about the fact that Wikipedia has replaced Webster's Dictionary as the “single common source for definitions of the English language”, and where Webster’s defined words with eloquence and integrity, "today, our methods of conveying information are limited to the lexicographical understanding of a former porn site owner and those who kiss his ass".

    Eloquently put. Webster would be proud.

    2468596982_21d6354e07
    A Cambridge Bus, transporting plague victims to a stop near you since 1985.

    H x

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